4.

When Ezra came along, we became a family of 4.

I had so many questions. How am I going to survive without sleep again? How will Stella make it thru this? How are we going to afford this and our adoption payments? Will Brandon and I ever be able to hang out alone again? What will this mean for our adoption? The list goes on!

I'll never forget pulling out of the driveway to go to the hospital. Stella stood at the window crying. Ahhhhhhh! What a terrible feeling. I was so concerned about her and scared about the c-section. There are many beautiful things about having a baby but there are also a lot of unknown and scary things. I'm about to be cut open and a baby pulled out. I remember praying in the car....for Stella, myself, Ezra and then becoming completely overwhelmed.

A few hours after Ezra was born, my mom brought Stella to the hospital to meet him. She didn't say much and stood around biting her fingernails. She gave him a gift and offered to open it for him since his 'arms were too short' and then asked if he could go live with another family now:) We explained that he would be living with us forever and she thought that it would be cool if he could go back into my belly!

In her defense, this was not the beautiful little Ethiopian sis that we had been praying for. It must have been confusing for her. The first month was a blur. I barely remember these days. Really. I do remember feeling guilty that I couldn't spend more time with Stella and like I was holding and/ nursing this baby boy 24 hours a day. Thankfully some sweet people (Tyler, Julie, Devon, Wes, The Howvers, The Novellis, Brandy, Kate and others) took Stella on some play dates. This helped so much! It gave her something fun to look forward to and allowed me to rest physically and mentally. Also-some amazing people in our lives brought meals for a couple of weeks. Best 2 things ever!!! (Thanks Wendy for organizing the meals and for all of you who fed the Grissoms during this life changing time). I am so so so thankful for our friends and family.

Anyway, it took Stella awhile to get warmed up to her baby bro. In fact, I just asked Brandon when he thought that she really started like him. His answer was....Christmas time:) Stella ADORES Ezra and doesn't like to go anywhere without him. She is really patient and helpful with her baby brother who she calls Ez, brother bear or Ezra pants. I know that having him around adds joy and character to all of our lives. I love our new little addition (who will be 10 months old in a few days) and of course I love my little Stella. She is the answer to a lot of tears and prayers and will forever be my miracle girl.

Thank you God for knowing what is best for our family and for shaking things up a bit.